Sunday, December 25, 2016

Gift in the end of the year

Whoooaaa it's 25th of December
Okey rite now I'm preparing to go to Cairooooo

Gonna celebrate the new year there for the first time, hope everything is going smooth, aamiin

Thank you Allah

Friday, December 2, 2016

December

Yaay next month gonna be the 1st January of 2017 

God please ijabah my duaa aamiin

Friday, November 25, 2016

Peduli kentut

Sebuah pikiran menggangguku

"Kenapa sih harus kepikiran omongan orang?"
"Ada ya orang kayak gitu?"
"Kenapa sih orang peduli amat ama kehidupan orang lain, padahal dia hanya sekedar ingin tau, selebihnya mah bodo amat, paling jadi bahan omongan ke orang yang lain"
"Ko dia kepikiran hal hal yang aku aja ga pernah mikirin tentang orang itu, klopun pengen tau, ya dalam hati aja walau pada akhirnya orang itu cerita sendiri"
"Engga pernah mau tau kehidupan dia gimana, pakaiannya merk apa, tasnya apa, ga peduli, selama dia baik ke aku, then it's fine"

Kalimat kalimat di atas adalah kalimat yang seringkali bermain putar putaran di kepalaku, aku hanya tak habis pikir kenapa orang peduli amat ama kehidupan orang lain, ya mending klo dibantu, lah klo jadi bahan omongan ke orang lain?

Sekarang ada mental baru yang mungkin harus aku persiapkan, walau jujur aku sangat tak nyaman dengan yang satu ini, tapi mau dikata apa...

Aku pun tak suka "who to blame"

Selalu terngiang "kita adalah hamba Allah yang mencari irisan irisan takdirNya, yang bahaya adalah mendiktekan Tuhan"-AMA

Artinya memang semua udah kemaktub, klo kata Kakak sih "Mamam tu maktub"
Saking seringnya kalimat tersebut kuucapkan, walau jujur kalimat itu membuatku lega kala menghadapi hati yang sulit diajak negosiasi dengan otak

Tapi dasar tipikal bosenan, klo besok udah kebal sama kalimat ini, mau ga mau harus nyari lagi kalimat motivasi lainnya biar si hati ini bisa nerima lagi...

Ya Allah the hardest things in life is dealing with myself...
Ada yang bilang "kita hanya punya dua tangan untuk menutup telinga kita dari omongan orang lain" terus keep going on deh

Tapi klo deal dengan diri sendiri...

Hmmm mikir dulu dan dijamin ga cukup seharian...
Terlebih klo belum juga nemu kalimat motivasi lain biar hati ini nerima

Oh dunia...


Allah, save me...





Sunday, November 20, 2016

November ceria

R ask me to marry him, thanks Allah I'm soooo happyy ❤️

Hmm actually he wants me to stay at home, but I need to find my new activity, and I hope I don't have time to think about people's opinion, I don't like to think about what people might say about each other

Monday, November 14, 2016

R

I learn a lot from him

He accepts everything the way I am
Masya Allah

You've become my sunshine
You're the reason why I wake up in the middle of night 

I have a name in my mind to tell to the One

I love you R ❤️

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Keep praying

It's okey for some time I feel tired
It's okey for some time I feel l need me time
It's okey for some time I feel bored

Life's not about happiness all the time
Life's not about sadness all the time
Life's not about me all the time
Life's not about you all the time

Sharing is the best way
So that we know life is a circle
Life's round they're cycling 
So we know that rainbow doesn't mean have to be appeared after rain
The rainbow is in ourselves 
Sometimes we put it in our lives and mostly God is the one who put it and even more beautiful and colorful 

Let's keep praying that may God always protect us and keeping the good raimbow in our lives so that we know Allah always be with us and loving us

Good morning ❤️

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Self reminder

Aku ditempatkan pada posisi dimana aku seakan ingin menyalahkan keadaan, yang mengarahkan aku untuk bersuudzon kepadaNya

Astaghfirullah, dunia ini hanya sementara...


Saturday, October 29, 2016

problema

sempat terpikir bagaimana ujian hidup yang melanda setiap orang
namun aku sadar, bahwa ternyata setiap ujian yang melanda hambaNya adalah kepada batin, dari batin itu kemudian akan berarah kepada pikiran...

kemudian dari pikiran itu akan berlanjut mempengaruhi kegiatan hari-hari, ada yang terlihat ada pula yang tidak

dan bagaimana pada setiap hambaNya menjalani dan menghadapi permasalahan tersebut masing-masing...

Monday, October 17, 2016

Pelangi hidup

Aku rindu masa kecilku
Aku tak perlu berpikir apa yang akan kulakukan di hari esok
Aku tak perlu khawatir apa yang akan terjadi besok
Yang kutahu adalah bermain
Yang kutahu adalah mendapatkan teman baru
Yang kutahu adalah orangtuaku menepati janjinya untuk memenuhi keinginanku

Sekarang...

Aku harus berpikir keras 
Bahkan untuk menyampaikan kalimat saja aku harus berfikir dua kali
Menyinggung atau tidak
Menyakiti atau tidak
Pantaskah atau tidak

Hari ini meragu
Besok menjadi yakin

Hari ini semangat
Besok menjadi orang yang lemah pasrah

Seringkali ingin teriak "LELAH"
Tapi teriak lelah saja pun butuh tenaga
Saat lelah harusnya istirahat, bukan teriak

Semakin dewasa, mulai menyeimbangkan antara hati dan pikiran...

Kenapa sangat berwarna sekali yah ya Allah?
Pelangi apa ini?apakah pelangiku sebagaimana yang kulihat setelah hujan?

Ataukah bentuk pelangiku hanya lurus?
Ataukah abstrak tak beraturan?
Ataukah berbentuk sesuatu?








Sunday, October 16, 2016

New chapter

I just wanna say that I need something new, new friends, new environments, and  specially things that more better in life...
Something that I've planned before...
Aamiin

Saturday, October 15, 2016

The gift

We are near to the end of the year of 2016...

Alhamdulillah, since I work I can enjoy day by day, I feel how time flies so fast and if I can look back, it's different than 2015, I can feel month by month, day by day hrrr so long!

Of course in every year Allah gives me a special gifts including this year, hope on next year gonna get a big big beautiful gift!I always waiting God! 

Monday, October 10, 2016

task

2 years ago I was really excited to continue my college
But now...
Where did the passion go?
I even can't finish the task in one day, one day for one only

tadinya sih mau fokus, I make a target today I have to finish my tasks all of those 6 in 2 days
but but but
now I think I've got a little problem that distracted my focus

Friday, September 23, 2016

tak mudah

keyakinan

adalah hal yang tak mudah
mungkin mudah untuk berbagi, tapi tidak untuk kemudian diperdalam oleh masing-masing pribadi

bukan aku tak mau mendengar
bukan pula aku tak mau untuk menerima

entah apa yang sudah menjadi keyakinanku, maka tak mudah untuk kuganti ketika ada masukan mengenai apa yang telah menjadi keyakinanku...

Monday, September 19, 2016

haruskah

sesuatu menggangguku

awalnya memang tak mengapa
entah mengapa sekarang terasa berbeda

terbesit kekhawatiran

akan masa mendatang

apa yang tertulis maka tertulislah

apa yang terjadi maka terjadilah

tak perlu khawatir mengenai yang akan datang, toh semua akan baik-baik saja

namun

apakah ini pilihan yang tepat?

meragu, aku meragu
ingin kutepis, namun aku tahu aku tak mampu


Monday, September 5, 2016

kicau-kicau burung merpati

ah ternyata tak mudah, kupikir kuliah secara online akan meningkatkan kesibukan dan keseruan di dalamnya
tapi ternyata masih kalah dengan kuliah tatap muka langsung dengan dosen, lebih seru terasa saat bertemu teman-teman sesama...

semangatnya pun jelas berbeda, berbeza :P

tapi tak avha, semua akan berlalu, niatnya menuntut ilmu, inshaa Allah hasilnya pun akan memuaskan dan sangat baik pula (uhuw hopefully, aamiin ya Allah)

hmm kuperhatikan, mengapa momentnya bisa pas ya, kerjaan memang ada waktu senggang, dan saat itulah kupakai untuk mengerjakan tugas-tugas yang dilakukan secara online, baru minggu pertama udah bisa diselesaikan udah seneng bangeet, beda sama semester tahun lalu, belum tahu apa-apa, dan in the end alias ujug-ujug UAS!!!

belajar jadi rada kelabakan, tapi sekarang berkat teman-teman sesama juga yang ada disini dan jaringan komunikasi yang lebih mudah, teknologi sekarang jauh berbeda sekali dengan jaman sekolah dulu, boro-boro grup WA, yang ada juga telepon sana sini dan memanfaatkan waktu yang ada saat jumpa.

ngerasanya jadi minggu ini produktif kan hehehe


seeing this picture gives me motivation that holiday are near!!!
can't wait to go to Jeddah and enjoy my holiday!

Rajin baca

Sedari dulu waktu sekolah jam 9 malam ke atas adalah waktu penat buat belajar... 

Aku kagum pada mereka yang mampu belajar pada jam sekian serta mereka yang suka membaca

sometimes I'm reading because something interesting 


And I proud of them who loves to reading specially about politics and economics which is sooooo not me argh !

Karena tipikal orang yang doyan kedua hal itu biasanya orang-orang yang genius

Sunday, September 4, 2016

For what

entah aku ingin menangisi perilaku manusia yang tidak adil terhadapku, tapi kupikir panjang untuk apa, toh akhirnya kita akan bersama-sama dihisab mengenai amalan yang sudah kita kerjakan, segala perilaku yang dilakukan pasti ada balasannya, dan aku meyakini bahwa segala sesuatunya sudah diatur, jika sudah meyakini demikian adany, lalu untuk apa kita khawatir mengenai masa depan yang sudah ada di dalam genggagamanNya?
Bahwasanny semua akan baik-baik saja?
 
Kolegaku mengatakan bahwa keragu-raguan asalnya dari setan. Maka obat agar si hati tenang dan tidak banyak nanya dan ngoceh adalah dengan membaca Al Quran....

Sekian





Saturday, September 3, 2016

Water

Can't wait for holiday on next week

But I worry about my plants in my office, I'm about leaving them in one week, n not sure when I'll be able to check on them,

I hope I have someone who can look them during hajj's holiday n give them water...

Yes or No

When we are in doubt, it comes from syaitan...

Life is all about faith 

How much we put our trust in Allah?
How much we put our trust in ourselves?
How much we put our trust in human?

I believe everything is going to be okay 
I believe there's an end of this world 
I believe there's nothing impossible 

"How can I help you when you didn't put any trust toward me?"

And about ups and downs

Sometimes I feel bored to think positively, but fortunately Allah won't let His hand of me, whenever I tried to think negatively I feel like Allah knock the door of my heart, then I be like, okay there's no way for me to do that....


Wednesday, August 31, 2016

before touching the door of September

yang namanya perjalanan hidup, siapa yang pernah menyangka
siapa pula yang akan tahu
tentang masa depan
yang misteri
sebagian hanya menebak
entah unsur darimana
apakah akan menjadi nyata
ataukah sekadar celoteh

3 tahun sudah berlalu
masih di tempat yang sama
hanya pertemuan yang berbeda

hingga hari ini masih tak dapat memahami
arti pertemuan
yang hampir setahun ini
hikmah dan hikmah
kata demi kata
yang kian menjadi pertanyaan besar
tertoreh di hati ini

tak dapat kumengerti
apalagi menerima

pertemuan dengannya
hingga saat ini bagaikan kertas yang menempel di dinding
bukan lagi selotip
bagaikan lem tembak di dinding begitu kuat
tak ada yang dapat menentukan kapan kertas pertanyaan yang ada sebuah nama disana akan dilepas
atau terlepas

hingga saat ini pun masih terngiang

"do you know Mr. S?"
"he's here"

her sound just like an echo in my ears

he's here
he's here
he's here

"how could I dont know?"
I was shocked, I just wrote in my notes, and I've counted how many times I've met him
and I left one, number 7th
I always telling myself "God will let me know when he's here"
it's a miracle, she never told me, I always be the one who asked her "who's coming?"
but as if Allah moves her heart to tell me

"why you telling me?when I'm the one who always asked you?"
"because you always excited when there's a guest coming"
"but after this all, this is the 1st time you telling me and it's a right person that I've been waiting for"

actually, the matters is between me and Allah
all this time I've been asking Allah
"what do you want?"
"what's hikmah/positivity behind this all?/"
"if it's positive thing and I can learn from this, why it's hurting me?"
"I feel like I'm a victim here"
"I know I'll pass this all with ease"
"in the end everything's gonna be okay"
"I'm tired"
"I've been following my heart and hope I'll let it flow, but why it's still hurt?"

the day I met him is right where I put all myself to Allah
what's wrong with this?

I need the strongest mentally to put in myself and go through all this
I can't be patience to go to the next step
where I hope there'll be so much more happiness, success
the day where I can totally forget about him
why I can't give my feeling towards someone near me that already loves me?
just because of an approval from my parents?

i'm tired.....


last year of 2015, you give me pain until now
how long will I endure this?
I'm sorry Allah, I can't be patience...
I know the answer without asking

in the end, my world is all about You (Allah) and me
and so does others


Tuesday, August 30, 2016

update and update

things gotten much different than we used to be

thanks to God I have someone to ask to about my laptop problem, it turns out about update, I just dont want to checking too much detail since I bought, I just know that we have to buy the original one and it will take risk if we use the crack

ah it's really different, ten years ago no need for buy this and that such things for computer, only the accessories, I found difficulty when MO's got separated and no more automatically inside it...

such a HOMEWORK for me ergh, okay I feel much better now, thanks to my cousin, he helps me a lot

What's wrong with you?

I can't understand my laptop, whenever I bring it to the office so I could spend time when I'm free but problem just happened, it can't connect to the internet, the wifi doesn't work, or maybe because it is still Windows Home?
I haven't upgraded it yet to the Pro, ergh but still this time I just need Microsoft Office for my college things and its should be online, DANG!!

Fatal, yeah and its make me bad day early in the morning, it was fine at home until I bring it here....

I have target too, and I hate it when things doesn't work well....

Gosh!!

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

The meeting

Terkadang ketika minta dipertemukan dengan seseorang untuk sekali itu saja, namun dipertemukan dengan yang lain

Mungkin ekspektasi awal berfikir, oh mungkin Allah tidak mengabulkan...

Namun ternyata ekspektasi kedua muncul, ah bukan itu, Allah tak ingin sekali itu saja untuk berdoa, malah sebaliknya, Allah sangat senang ketika doa yang sama untuk diucapkan berkali kali sampai dijawab pada waktunya...

Monday, August 15, 2016

comfort zone

comfort zone...

for some people might stay if they found already their comfort zone, but for some other who wants find more challenging in life will wont stay...

Indeed I found mine already, but doesnt mean I dont want more, I do will looking for more so I changing the words from "out from your comfort zone" to "expand my comfort zone"
sounds different?yeaaaa comfort zone itself for me doesnt have only one meaning, it depends on how we set our mind to be more flexible, well I heard people said "the key is in our mind itself"

so that's why we often found the people who got locked by themself, just because they don't want to try to open their mind, going afraid to try to take the next step, the new one....

in this country where I stay, SA, I dont find myself being locked as how they say, I feel free, indeed we have to wear abaya, but doesnt mean we're not free, being free is depends on how we set our mind..

I love this country and may Allah always protect my own country and SA...aameen

and now I fall in love with abaya, it has so much benefit from it, and one of it for me, I can prepare myself whenever I wanna go outside just simply wear abaya without people knowing I wear pajama inside, lol

and the most thing I love for wearing abaya is I can simply use it for pray

many friends asked me why I didn't go back to my country, simply I just love where I stay, and I wanna expand my comfort zone with my own way...

have a nice day, 

I love August


 

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

blessed

people who makes you smile are not always the people that you are close to

sometimes they are who you say Hello to

even though just saying the good things for me, ah I'm happy for some people that care about me

thank you, thank you Allah... 

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Kali Kedua

Cukup sekali saja

Aku pernah merasa

Betapa menyiksa 

Kehilanganmu

Kau tak terganti

Kau yang selalu kunanti

Takkan kulepas lagi

Pegang tanganku

Bersama jatuh cinta

Kali kedua, pada yang sama...
Sama indahnya...

(Raisa bilang kali kedua, namun aku merasa lebih dari itu)

little garden in the office



it's not much but I love to gives them water once in 2 days


the left, at first was only 1 leaf, I was sad seeing it alone, but it last for months! since December I took care of it,  I was worried when it started to yellow! then I tried to give it friends of Salak's fruit seed, then the magical things happen, the sprout comes out and keeps growing until the 1st leaf died, but grateful seeing them growing happily, I feel loved and it's great showing what we feel towards plants




and now, I'm trying planting the dates seeds! whoa hopefully they'll grow happily

Monday, July 18, 2016

When life gives you apple, ask for cinnamon

This year I learned a lot, specially about how to be thankful, and more than that Allah show me how to feel pain, ah this one I dont want to actually, if I have to choose between decline and accept, I'd like to choose the first one!

Been tried to telling myself that was part of life, if I never been there then how did I know what it feels like to be in pain...

if it's not okay then it's not the end....

Allah, I know you give me lemon right now, so can I ask for mint?or soda?so they both can give some freshness in my life, tee hee


Sunday, July 17, 2016

Hmph then hi

Never been in love before to dates
These 3 years I've found myself for liking things I've never liked before, such as caramel, dates, chocolate, strawberry

For some moments I really into them, as if God wants to show me that's the life rules, basically the earth shaped shows us, life is round, sometimes up and down, today we may dislike something, and turned into like too much.

Nah there are more, political and business, I dont know why they are both gives high impact to the countries, but personally they're sounds not peaceful πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Lots of conflict there...ah or maybe one day I'll put my interest there?

Saturday, July 16, 2016

stop interfere

people don't know what I've been through
and how I deal with myself which is harder than deal with other people...

and how easy they're asking to get married soon
don't you know asking when to get married is just the same when you're asking when will you have a child?or when will you get pregnant?

the positive side I'm thankful that they care about me
the negative side I'm annoyed why you interfere with my life?

I'll be more delightful if you just pray for my good future behind me

My God am I being sensitive lately?
that's just because they're keep asking
if only they just ask one or twice, not everytime we meet in group, it's okay...

Actually life is fair indeed, it's just the people make it sounds doesn't...


yo, what's up?

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

the real happiness



one of my colleagues told me that the happiness in here (where I live right now) is not real, not genuine, then I imagine, if we be thankful, will it be enough?

kinda not sure and understand by that, how come, make it happen the happiness through yourself

"whenever you've reached home, and got nothing to do, you'll ended up playing game, don't you?"

honestly a bit agree with this one, but playing game make us happy right?

the more I think about it, as if we're looking for happiness which mean we can't make it, we lives in sadness, oh no

dont be, happiness and sadness just like two side of coins, they completed each other, so that's how life was born...


Saturday, July 9, 2016

Soda can't befriended with chocolate

My 3rd elder brother loves soda
And I'm sad
Bcause I know it's not good for him
I wanna give him loads of chocolate every single day, so he only thinks to drink water
Bcause chocolate doesn't match with soda hahahahaha

Thursday, July 7, 2016

siblings

the best things about having siblings :

- My older sister dont mind if I asked her to put pants on me like a baby, ups big baby?hahahha
- I dont mind changing clothes in front of her as long as she didn't stare at me
- My older brothers don't mind if I asked them for help, dropped me to somewhere else 
- I am the youngest in the family, so my brothers never mad on me if I pranked them hahahaha
- My sister is the only one who got awkward whenever I hug her
- I only show my crankiness to my siblings, whatever I've done my siblings always be the one who understand and accept the way you are
- You can be whatever you want as long it's not negative things to your siblings, I have a time when to annoy them tee hee
- Family is a place where you can say anything, telling stories a whole day and what you've been through
- The family's support is such a life's motivation


How about you? 

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Ied Day

Ya Allah, hari terakhir Ramadhan rasanya beraat banget...
Entah masih ada rasa kurang puas dan kurang maksimal menjalani puasa Ramadhan dalam sebulan ini...
Semoga Allah mempertemukan kita kembali dengan Ramadhan tahun depan, allahumma aamiin...

Selama 24 tahun, baru sekali merayakan Idul Fitri di Indonesia, Cibinong, Bogor.
Itupun terasa sepi sekali, karena jauh dari keluarga, hanya berdua dengan Kakak nomer 2, selepas sholat Ied kembali ke rumah sembari rebahan...

Kalaupun di Riyadh setiap tahun ya gitu gitu saja, sholat Ied di KBRI, salam salaman, menikmati sajian Idul Fitri di wisma Dubes, kemudian menyajikan kateringan buat para pengunjung WNI yang ke KBRI, siang hari pulang ke rumah istirahat, besoknya agenda baru lagi, yang pastinya tidak ada tarawih...

Kemudian seminggu setelahnya kembali dengan rutinitas sebagaimana sebelum Ramadhan, dan yang perempuan membayar hutang puasa karena haid, sesuai dengan hari masing masing

Tidak banyak yang spesial, kemudian selama 3 hari berturut turut pada jam 10:00 pm ada kembang api di beberapa titik di kota Riyadh, keunikan di Saudi Arabia adalah mereka menyalakan kembang api hanya saat merayakan Idul Fitri saja, selebihnya tidak ada, bahkan New Year pun tidak ada...

Karena yang terpenting dan spesial adalah kala merayakan Idul Fitri bersama keluarga, terutama orangtua dan saudara...





Monday, July 4, 2016

Holy Month

Month of Ramadhan is coming to an end...
I hope we'll meet again with Ramadhan's month on next year, aamiin
Ramadhan in every year always has its different story, on last year, God granted my wish when I have to decide which one in two, then I got the answer right away at the same time...
And also they give back my money as a gift after I performed umroh and on the way back to Riyadh, which means I got free for everything! alhamdulillah

This year, I love it when my work time changed while Ramadhan its started at 10:00 am hahahaha 

The sad thing that I love to buy grocery, such going to the supermarket (I prefer going to the supermarket than mall) and make a plan what to cook, but in the end I dont have time to!!

Everytime I wanna cook but my Mom already cooked some, so I planning te day after that but end up I have to go to work early in the morning, ended up with having some snack only ergh

Okay back to Ramadhan, I hope God answer one of my prayers...
Ramadhan always be special month...


Saturday, July 2, 2016

b i m b a n g

I cant accept it if someone told me that God gives us full of freedom of life
means that we can do anything beyond all, we are free, but still we have to take responsibility later in afterlife of what we've done

wanna cry all day, until out of energy
I know I dont have any right to feel this

help me...

I'm reaching the max...

I know I'm free to take a choice for every choices

I still wanna believe that everything is under control of God...
so there's no way, there's no chance for me to think negatively...

I need proves that God is the best and only one the best of all the best planner...
show me...

I need something for cure... 

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

the missed sky



It was a beautiful sky, until one day she wakes up and realized, then said

"oh it's Friday again, maybe a different Friday, hope this Friday gonna gives me something"

we are living under the same sky....

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

R e l a t i o n

We may don't know where our luck, sustenance comes through, sometimes it comes out from unexpected person, or people that we loves...

We just have to build the best relation with people in our lives, unexpected person could be someone who you dislike, something out of mind that never thought once, how can?

But again that is how God create life, sometimes when we hate something but in God eyes it's best for us

Don't hate too much, don't love too much
They said everything that too much won't be good for us

Let's live happily then, stay positive even life might bring us up and down

Life is a choice, that's mean God give us specialty of freedom, I don't know why I feel like I still wanna all happening bcause of qadarullah...
As if I don't wanna make mistakes for choosing one of the choices... 

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Wait

I admit that when I was in Junior High School, I want to be in Senior High School, aand so on, wondering what will I be in the next 10 years at that moment, life is just like a flash, now I am here, right at 10 years ago where I was wondering back then

One thing that I miss and I learned from that, sometimes I wanna reach the future eagerly, then forgot how to enjoy the moment that should be...

So I dont want that to be happen twice, now everythings that I have now, what I'm going through good and bad, I wanna enjoy it as much as possible, if I wanna go to holiday and watching KDrama, sleeping 8 hours, enjoying the holiday, I'll try to be patience and believe that day will come, as now I wanna enjoy the weekend but still in weekdays, so I havw to enjoy them while waiting that weekend will come!!





Monday, June 20, 2016

Thankful

Indeed life is up and down, whatever it takes I always ended up back to think about Allah

When I have to face the negative things in life, I have no other choice than to think positively, what's behind this all, then I give back to Allah

Ah I forgot that I'm the one who asked Allah that anything matters may Allah wont give me any way to think negative or suudzon to Him

Now Allah granted my wish...All praises to Allah

I opened back my old diary, and read them, I've found out I started to looking about Allah since 2nd elementary school, whoa now I'm thankful to Allah that He sends me to these angels and I called them Mom and Dad ❤️

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Hold On Beb

it's hard to deal with people who lack of communication
soft talk, but then she wont listen, she just say yes but didnt obey, or we can say she'll do it later
hard talk, she will talk back, even angry

she wants to be understand but, she wont try to understand first

ergh

I think I understand for men who struggle with this kind of woman....

Thursday, June 16, 2016

H u g

It is like I taught them how to hug me tightly so I feel warm n safe, because never been done that before
Just after graduated from diploma, some people might said you just like a teenager finding their true identity

Nowadays they did it whenever I want to without giving them any signal

It's true hug can make you feel safe and get support, body language sometimes are worth it more than words

Monday, June 13, 2016

S o l u t i o n

Whenever I found myself in uncomfortably, I just lying in the bed, be busy thought, all around my mind, think of God's plan for me then be positive, simple thing can clearing my mind at the time

No, I dont have any problem, seems I can handle it all, I have God and because of God I can keep going

But they said the problem is in your mind

Dont care what people might say about you, the sky never tell us that its high, bcause people know you good if you good




Monday, June 6, 2016

Ramadhan Mubarak

Alhamdulillah meet again with Ramadhan's month, I learned from previous Ramadhan last year, but it was precious time, where it all starts until I am now...

The time where I was confused which one should I choose between two things, argh so much thought in my minds

Ramadhan Kareem everyone!

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Barakah

I know people make mistakes, including myself

but that's life we have to learn and learn

never stop learning, they said "experience are the best teacher"

When I was in school, I kept asked myself, why the problems keep coming, such an neverending story, one come and once its done then another one's coming, until I realized that what it called the colourful of life 

Personally the sad truth when they said "people come to make you learn to get the message" 

Doesnt enough been learned 12 years?
Hahahaha

Well, the baraka on Friday

Monday, May 16, 2016

I have to do

Life is a choice, they said

I'm sure that every people in this world ever had to choose in between 2 or 3 things or even more 

So do I, never thought that everything's come without God's permission, and also reason behind it all

Everything I asked to Allah, its all need patience for the right time, never too late nor too soon 

But, when Allah answer every single prayer, don't you feel afraid you might forget and disobey for what He asked you to do, because too much enjoying for everything you have... And become negligent Oh nauzubillah

Go get yourself together, or you might got it bcause you deserve to get them all
Be thankful, and still low profile....

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Send it

There are times when you might just type and send without thinking how the receiver might feel about you

It's happen just because you just write as how the idea comes out without meaning anything, as if you didnt write now you might lose it at the moment 

Duh...

The one who might understand are the closest people to ya

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Something new

It's good when we're about to improve ourselves through gain knowledge, get a job, find a new experience in life, take a journey through travelling, etc

I read some comment about life, they said we did that so to make ourselves busy, just to fill our free time before salah/prayer time

In my opinion, that in the end life is all about us and God, I shared to my cousin, then she said "God didnt control our life, it's a good deed that Allah give, of course Allah controlled our earnings, fortune etc but not what we're gonna do. In the end, if Allah controls that, He may asked Himself, so what we do is our responsibility, and Allah will ask for what have we done in this world"

Now, I asked myself why I did something to fill my free time with taking a course of Arabic n English language, continuing to college here, and also got a job, well I love new experiences, and I hate when I got to say "nothin to do" it may bring back the memories back then, it's good when it's about good things that I've done, but if it's something embarrassing things I'll be like OMG help me to forget bout this things by make me really happy till I forgot bout it all!!!

Just like in the end of the last year....
I dont want to remember, it's just make me sad, down, depressed, I even think that I dislike myself...
I even think why I have this way, and what's the good things behind this all, I hate if in the end I'll be like blame this to God, oh Nauzubillah....
I seek for forgiveness God!

Phew I think it's been long time I didn't tell the stories, I just feel relieved if I write here, OMG the problem that I don't like reading, I prefer scanning, scamming than reading by details...ergh I know we gotta get a lot of new information, but of course I like reading newspapers, I mean here a book, such a ...well you know what I mean...



Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Early morning early gift

I tried to skip my dinner due my diet hahaha let's not say for it, bcause "diet for tomorrow" 

So I looked for snack, drink inside the refrigerator, ended up just found one pudding with nata de coco, then I feel hungry, not only me, even my father n older brother

Then we went to bagalah bought some snacks and bread for breakfast, n while driving and almost reached the traffic light my father decided to pass the McD, and out of plan we got stopped by one of the staff there, he gave us 3 vouchers then told us to go thrpugh the drive thru to take the burgers, OMG for free!!!Alhamdulillah

Thank you McD

Last night

It was a good day, I think this is my first time, things happen right after I wrote my list to do, such as getting courses of arabic and english (glad and praises to Allah i got both of them) and korean, japanese (not yet)

And also continuing to college to UT, actually I wanna join the toastmasters dunno why find it hard to go and searches for the place. so decided not to take it

For me, took courses I've got two things, gaining acknowledge, and new friends!
Indeed social really needed in human being, for me, i might feel bored if i only placed in one surrounding, there there you again and you again specially when i cant improve myself to be better, such a bored person haha

Well that's my April in 2016th, thnx God!

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Special of April

more closer to June which is mean month of Ramadhan aaa can't wait

this month is special because one of my bestfriend gonna get married!ah so happy but unfortunately I cant come, huhu why you gotta so far!or is me who cant attend the special wedding for my bestfriend?OMG I'm sorry I cant be there on your happiest day, but I pray for your happiness n the best, aamiin

I wanna talk about Dhuha prayer, it's good and it works really for earning, sustance, ah everything works well and I feel baraka through the days, alhamdulillah, all praised to Allah


Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Sensitive

I hate the situation where people make fun with but the more I ignore them, the more they make me feel annoyed about that...

Seriously why dont you all go get ur own life?!

How unfortunate...


Saturday, March 12, 2016

counting days

now counting the days for the new atmosphere maybe (?)

hope everything's turns out well, very very well









comfort zone, actually...

Monday, March 7, 2016

Monday, February 22, 2016

On the day like this

Not all the things should be explained
Some of them we'll figure it out or known by time will answer
That's why when parents told us "one day you'll understand"

We often asked for something that so curious about, till we know by ourselves

Saturday, February 6, 2016

A withered flower

They said that life can be up and down
Life isn't always happened as expected

At the moment where we enjoyed our life between us and God, then be gratefully and the universe that smile brightly

At the moment where suddenly we didn't enjoyed the moment that we have now

Happens for a reason

There are rainbow after the rain 

There are happiness after the sadness 

There are always two sides of life's 

There are bunches of new flowers that blooms after the withered

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

There are times when

There are times when the logic must win

There are times when to not to speak more

There are times when the time will answer

There are times when it's time to understand

There are times when good and bad things comes up together in a day

There are times when ...

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Early gift in January


Whenever me and my Father going to Sumaysi, we often passed this mosque, I remember back then even from afar I attracted with its architectures

Sometimes, we missed a little pray that might we asked from the deepest, then got forgot but not forgotten till one day it happened, we remember, and that's when Allah gives the surprise!

In some of my experiences sometimes Allah answers my du'a when I'm about to give up (maybe) almost forgot....
So that's when they say 'the miracles begin when you are about to quit'

I don't know at the time when I entered the Guest House, the place that only specifics people can go into, and of course we called them 'guests of honour'

And I'll be like 'wut da...?' Aga2 norak atuhlah maap yak hehehe

Ah so this is how it feels surrounded by the guardians

Unforgettable moment, alhamdulillah 


Thursday, January 14, 2016

I love weekend

Yaaaay weekend!!finally, Alhamdulillah
Selamat berakhir pekaaaan 

Kapanpun pas saat nyampe rumah dan liat kasur uda digelar itu...
Tinggal ganti baju, dan teparrr bangun pagi sepuasnya tanpa ada rasa terikat

Subhanallah

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

All about You

Makin pasrah sama Allah itu menyenangkan, apalagi tiap ketemu hal2 negatif di sekitar yang bisa memunculkan kekhawatiran, dan kalimat andalan yang bisa dibilang anti-worried, dimana tiap mengucap kata itu di dalam hati langsung lega, rasa khawatir itu seakan ditendang keluar "get out" adalah "ah ada Allah ini" atau "ah ga ada yang kebetulan ini"

Terlebih doa doa kecil yang langsung dikabulkan, ketika bisa mensyukuri dan merasa sangat berarti semisal dari hal makanan, mungkin bagi kita biasa aja, but who knows di mata Allah, hambaKu dikasih rejeki segitu mampu bersyukur, bagaimana jika Kuberi lebih?

So all good things are worth waiting for, memang berdasarkan pengalaman pribadi when it turns about the bigger thing that I asked, it must be longer for waiting, at the end it just the matters of time...

I do really curious what will happen next, maybe if I asked "ya Allah, what's your next plan for me?I may dont know yet because tomorrow's mystery, but if I can ask, may You make my life better than today" I believe at the same time Allah's smiling at me and say "You will be happy if You know what I've prepared for you"

Maybe I cried today, or maybe I nagged and can't accept the truth, but I believe one day I'll laugh to my past
One thing that make me tired is I have to deal between the logic and the heart that what it wants, the ego, the logic says "Cmon Tika, you just have to accept the truth!" The two different things called "you've think too much"

Monday, January 4, 2016

Cloudy Riyadh

The first day going to work in 2016
Today's cloudy, just like what I wear today, my hijab's grey, n my shirt also the same color
i just realized it now, so take a look to the sky, see the clouds that covered the sun, still we get it lights 
Do you believe it that the weather also make an impacts to our mood?
Cloudy today makes me feel gloomy, yet happy
Even the mood changes, still can't avoid the destiny
A simple "hi" can change your whole day

A simple "hello" towards you, appreciate it, they know you're exist...
Grateful...

Friday, January 1, 2016